With a new season of our lives quickly approaching I have been thinking and praying constantly for guidance. It has been hard thinking about moving back home without a job, a new baby on the way, me staying home and going back to school for my Masters, and a surprise that is being created. A surprise that has been a long-time passion of mine that has been put on the back burner for the last four years.
All of these changes and we don't know how we are going to survive financially just yet. It can be consuming thinking and obsessing over how we are going to get through it. How are we to manage moving back home not knowing if we are going to be financially stable? This is a conversation that Clint and I have almost every night. What are we going to do if we don't get a job? How long are we going to stay in Ketchikan without a job?
This is where my faith is being tested. We have been tested in our faith before.
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
-Hebrews 11: 1-2
In 2010 when I was just finishing up my degree we were wondering if I was even going to get a teaching job here in White Mountain (there are very few teachers: 3 k-8th teachers and 3 7-12th teachers and all have been here 4 or more years) since no one ever seems to retire or move. We started wondering if it was going to be worth it to stay in rural Alaska with all our bills (we own a house in Ketchikan and with that, bills!) We were getting a little worried on what we were supposed to do.
We started to pray. Heavily we started to pray for guidance. We prayed that a door would be opened to a teaching job if that is what He wanted me to do, or if we should start a family (I had been asking Clint quite frequently if he was ready to start a family and at this point he was starting to!). We prayed about it for weeks and weeks and then one day I was offered the position as the Head Start teacher. It wasn't a district job, but I took it feeling like it was the right thing to do. It was security for the next year. A few weeks later the school district contacted me and asked if I was interested in becoming a teacher for them in the Head Start classroom (they were partnering with Head Start to put certified teachers in all ECE classrooms). I took it and we thanked God over and over for all the doors He opened. A few weeks after I signed my contract we found out we were pregnant!
At this point, Clint and I were feeling pretty overwhelmed with what was given to us. Here we were worried about the next year and worried about what we were supposed to do. Wondering if I should be teaching or if we should start a family, and here is God saying that He wanted us to have both! To say we were blessed would be an understatement.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be open to you.
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds.
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
If you then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven
give good gifts to those who ask Him!"
-Matthew 7:7-11
It was a faith-builder for me for sure. Not only did we get what we prayed for, but we also got everything we prayed for. How great is our God!
"For we live by faith,
not by sight."
-2 Corinthians 5:7
Now, I'm not saying that if we have enough faith God will give us everything and anything we ask for. His plan is much greater than we can imagine and gives us what we need. Yet, I've realized (in my own heart) that sometimes we need to cast (meaning: fling, toss, or hurl in a sudden motion) all our cares on the Lord and that he will provide what is best for us and sometimes it's the things we pray for and sometimes it's something totally different-something better! I have learned that:
praying is always worth it and faith is always rewarded.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"
1 Peter 5:7
With that being said, we are going to live out the rest of our days in White Mountain as best we can. With hope.
With love.
With the assurance that God will provide a way.
With faith...
*********
Have faith!
It is sweet. It is precious. It is powerful!
Have faith that He will do what is best for you and yours if you believe.
Cast all your cares on the Lord.
He is our Shepard.
He is our Strength.
He will hold us up with his righteous right hand.
Has your faith been tested. Has God answered your prayers? Has he done something even greater in your life?
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