January 12, 2011

The One Who Makes Our Hearts Sing: Bria's Birth Story

I loved being pregnant. Every single moment. Every time I couldn’t fit into yet another shirt I was literally jumping up and down with excitement. Every time I couldn’t fall asleep because my back ached, even though I was in pain, I was smiling inside… Excited because I knew that I wasn’t alone. I loved knowing, no matter where I was…that I wasn’t alone…that it was me and someone else. I loved watching my belly get huge and round and full of life. I felt the most beautiful while I was carrying Bria inside me. What I wouldn’t give to feel her kick inside of me. Oh, it was divine. As much overwhelming joy and heavenliness that was brought to us this day, I cried inside because I knew that we will never physically be part of each other. I am so very thankful to have experienced something that only a woman’s body could do. I did it. I gave birth to the most beautiful, precious miracle.

So…. anyway, here is the story of how Bria Eden Shultz entered the world. This story will be perhaps the hardest thing I will put into words. How do you describe the most treasured phenomenon of mankind? Here is my attempt…

My day started early on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 3:45 . I remember feeling restless and not knowing the reason for it. I remember feeling a lot of achiness in my lower back. I remember pacing back and forth at my parent’s house not knowing what to do or how to go back to sleep. Finally, at 5:30 I went upstairs and started watching the news with my dad.  It finally was the key to get me sleepy again and around 7:00 I went back to bed.

I remember waking up around 9:30 and ready to get the day started. I cleaned the house, ate breakfast, and started to make the nursing cover that I am going to use with Bria, but by 10:30 the contractions started coming. They were minor ones and weren’t painful so I decided to keep on working and walking around the house trying to fill up my day.

I remember talking to my mother-in-law in between contractions about my OB appointment I had the day before. I should tell you that on Tuesday I was 1 cm dilated, and 90% effaced. My midwife was very excited and said that she wouldn’t be surprised if I had the baby a couple days early. I remember distinctly that she said kept saying, “day’s early”. Little did she know.

I remember getting off the phone around 11:20 and that’s when they started to get a little bit more intense, but still did not hurt. I decided to lie down and watch some T.V. I remember watching A Birth Story and thinking to myself, that’s going to be me in a couple of weeks!  I remember talking to Bria saying how excited I am to meet her…to hold her…to smell her…to feed her…to have her be my everything.
I remember around 12:30 not being able to get up off the couch because of the contractions. They were getting even more intense so I called mom and told her I am having contractions and she should come home. She was home in about 5 minutes. It was a sense of relief knowing that someone was in the house with me. We started timing the contractions and they were close but sporadic.  Mom called the OB and told them that I was having close contractions but they were still inconsistent. One of the midwives told me to take a bath and try to relax and see if that helps with the contractions, because it is most likely false labor and to come in when I no longer can walk or talk through my contractions. Little did she know…

So, mom ran a bath for me while I got my yoga/meditation music all set up. I remember the warmth of the water relaxing every muscle in my body. I remember the music I was listening to fill the air. I remember my meditation practice and used that to get through the contractions. I remember the contractions. Oh how I remember the contractions in the tub. I remember Mom going back to work around 1:00. We decided that it would be okay because I was still talking through my contractions. They still weren’t painful, just a huge discomfort.

Mom came home around 2:00, which is about the same time I was getting out of the tub. I remember walking around the living room and all of the sudden I wasn’t able to stand. I literally fell onto the couch unable to move my body through a contraction. I was still talking through them calmly, but Mom thought it would be a good idea to go get checked at the hospital. She called them to make sure it was okay we stop by.

I remember getting my hospital bags just in case. We arrived at the hospital around 2:30. I remember getting into the gown and having the nurse exam me. I remember her wide-eyed expression and her excitement when she told me that I was already dilated to 7cm. From here, everything happened so quickly.

I was so busy concentrating on the nurses because we didn’t have time to register. So with me being bombarded with questions, them trying to draw my blood, and trying to breathe through the contractions I couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. A sense of relief because at that moment, when I was sitting on the bed with a needle in my arm I realized that I was becoming a Mommy. It hit me like a lightening bolt and I started to cry through my contractions. I remember telling my mom to call my cousin Starla and sister Jamie. That’s when Charley arrived with my dad. Dad waited out in the hallway and it was just us girls. By this time, the contractions were getting so strong that I started grunting during them…Not because they hurt-they did hur0t-but grunting during the contractions just felt good and it was totally uncontrollable.   

It wasn’t until around 3:00 that I had to stand up and lean against the bed during a contraction. I remember my entire body shaking uncontrollably as the contractions began to come almost consistently.  That’s when I felt my water break. Then, it was time to push. I remember telling my mom I need to push and her telling me to stop. I remember I couldn’t stop. All I remember is telling her repeatedly, “It’s time to push!! I have to push!!” The midwife was still busy with the nurses getting the equipment and registration ready. It was then that I told the midwife that the baby is coming and I need to push. She came to check on me and at 3:40 and said, “oh yeah, push when you feel like it!”

I remember once I started pushing, which was only 8 sets of 3 pushes and a wide-eyed, 5 lb. 12 oz. Bria Eden Shultz was lying on my chest at 4:07. At that moment, I fell in love. It hit me as hard as it could and she was mine forever…and I was hers. Mom immediately handed me the phone so I could talk to Clint. I remember saying over and over and over again, “Baby she’s perfect. I love you. She’s perfect. You’re a daddy. She’s perfect. She’s finally here!” And Clint saying that he’s so incredibly proud of me and that this is the happiest day of his life. After that, we repeatedly said “I love you” and “I am so happy” for the next 10 minutes with me crying because I couldn’t see him. Him not being there hurt more than the birth itself. But I’m so thankful that our baby girl was healthy and we are now a family of three.

The nurses were amazing. They wiped Bria off, cleared her and checked vitals while she was lying there on my chest. It wasn’t until about 10-15 minutes after that they took her to weigh, measure and clean her. I watched as my dad and sisters, Charley and Jamie went to go check for ten fingers and ten toes. She was perfect.

That night it was just my family sitting around, holding the new addition and the new life that is going to bless us more than we could imagine. Clint and I video skyped all night so he could see his daughter and share the moment with us. I remember Clint and I would stare at her. Not exchanging any words, but our smiles said everything and more.   

Here she is, Bria Eden Shultz. The one who has spent 38 weeks inside me. The one who has completely changed our lives, as we know them. The one who makes our hearts sing with pure and overwhelming joy. 


Tell me she's perfect! 

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1 comment:

Jessica Hofmann said...

Aaaaannd I'm crying. That's incredible. You're incredible. She's incredible. Clint's incredible. This whole thing... wow. I am beyond happy for you. I hope that one day I can tell her funny stories about you and me when we were younger. :) Love you Tory. I'm very proud of you.

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